My Paper Route


I deliver for the Press Enterprise. I started a few months after I quit reading it (and I still don't) and a few months after my grandpa stopped paying for it. I deliver around 130 papers every morning out in the country side in Riverside. I'm all over between the river, High Rd (almost in Elysburg) and half way to Snydertown and Sunbury. I pick my papers up in Danville where it's dropped off for me. I started about three months ago. Almost every morning, I see the same animals on the same roads. A week ago, I finally decided to buy one of those cell phone holders that stick to the windshield so I can get pictures and or videos, it was only $5. But I swear these animals know, all I've seen since is deer in the fields and cats asses as they run off the road. lol So definitely nothing exciting this morning. I did hit all red lights on the way home, reminding me to stop for sugar because my girl wants to make some sweet tea. Yes, most mornings they are all green....except when I need something like cat food or milk or gas.

I will tell you two stories from the past. First one, at least a month ago, I was sitting at the red light by Wendy's on 54 waiting for a green. I saw a guy I knew walking my way and I crossed my fingers and hoped he wasn't walking in front of me......he's married and hits on me, I wasn't up for that shit. Wouldn't you know, his eyes were every where, even on my bumper so he wouldn't walk into it but never once did he look up and see who was in that car. It was like I was invisible.

Second story, about a week or two ago, I was sitting at the red light by Puffs on 11, headed towards Dunkin. No cars, no one around, like most mornings at 2am. Except for a guy walking down from Weis in a hoodie with the hood up and his face in his cell phone. He walked out into the road, he was lucky a car didn't come flying thru and hit him. And when he hit the pavement, I knew who he was and wished like hell a car did come and hit him. Oops, my bad. So yea, it was the last guy I let live with me. So as the fool walked diagonally, right towards my door, face in his phone still, I glared at him with the most evil face I could. The fool almost walked right into my car before he finally realized I was there and looked up. HA....I think he jumped a little, his eyes definitely got huge with an oh shit look and he immediately ran around the car and down the street. HAHAHA As for him, yea you's been four years, you royally fucked up. Please stop talking about me and move the fuck on already, you are never getting this back.

Now.....when I was coming up the driveway this morning, my uncle was walking down the driveway and I was thinking how the hell did he know I was coming home and yea, I was a bitch and made him walk up the hill. Sorry uncle. He got to the Jeep and told me his dog snuck out. We stood there smoking and chit chatting and sure enough, here came that cute litte brat, right up to me (most animals are drawn to me).

Funny how things work out when you think positive, huh???

Will someone please email me and tell me what you think of my stories?? Go to my home page and fill out the contact form at the can be anonymous by making up an email!!!

"Shut Up and Dance" Walk the Moon

"Drops of Jupiter" Train


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