This morning

October 18, 2015

2:30pm

Sunday papers come around 3, this morning he was there about 3:15. It was very cold, go figure, I'm not happy. "So Cold" Breaking Benjamins

 

The music was perfect. I scanned the whole radio, all morning. Heard lots of commercials.....lots. Even got distracted for awhile by someone texting me. And guess what song played while they were texting me?? "Problems" by Arianna. I was so distracted, I didn't use SoundHound nor know where the song fits on the playlist. It played on Pine Swamp Rd. I was happy that "Here" played so often. I'm loving that song and it fit perfectly in every spot on the list. The list is like my life story of looking for love. And it ends perfectly.

 

I said awhile ago that I was seeing lots of deer. Well this morning, I didn't. Only on a few roads did I see them, starting when "White Wedding" was playing. I was so excited, another Superman song!! Told you there were more. So when I did see deer, they were families of 3 or more. Except for the three buck I had the pleasure of seeing. All three were in the road and didn't run right away. Only one had a huge rack and it was beautiful. I saw him right after I stopped to reload my seat with papers and had been scanning the radio. "Royals" had just started when I saw that beautiful buck.

 

I heard "Fever" at 4:20 on High Rd. I thought of the Jamaican. Yea, not My Devil this morning. I was thinking about the green light that I saw fall from the sky, there on High Rd and the dreams I had of him. They were pretty amazing. He really liked the color neon green also. But later, "Turn the Page" played, only I heard Bob Seger and Spotify doesn't have him either. Then the music made me think of Home Depot and Boston......But then "Same Old Love" and "Here" played. And we know how it ends, "I'm seaching for trust In a city of vampires. Tonight, Elvis is dead And love is a satire. I've got a voice in my head that keeps singing, oh my heart is a ghost town."

 

 

5:30 pm

Thinking about this too much. I do know myself, yea, I have a tumor that makes me emotional but I've always known I'm emotional. No difference. So what's the problem?? I have very low self-confidence. Why is that?? My choice of friends and who I put my trust in. I give my all to the ones who don't see my worth, hoping that it will make them see. I'm hoping this time that I've learned my lesson and I stop trusting the wrong people. I am awesome and I will never let anyone treat me as less ever again.

 

 

 

 

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