Believe in Love

5:11am

Why am I so mad at W?? I've been wondering that for awhile. So.....you want to know, let's go.

First and biggest reason, he had the nerve to tell me that he knows me. Really W?? Have you read the blog post about my life?? It was awhile ago, so let's recap and add some more. First off, I graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA. I could have been valedictorian but I didn't want that kind of attention so I didn't try that hard. Ask my teachers, I hardly ever did homework and definitely never at home, that's what study hall period was for. I immediately went to college for accounting because my family insisted and I'm really good with numbers. No, I'm really awesome with numbers, did you know that?? I went for four semesters and had a 4.0 GPA. But you do know that part of me, sitting behind a desk all day with no human interaction.....definitely not the life for me. So I quit. I worked meaningless, mindless jobs so that I could be around people, stay active, play with money and get ideas on what to do with my life. At 26 and 27, I worked two jobs and got an associates degree. I studied business management, early childhood education and psychology. Did you know that?? And yea, I'm still really smart and had a 3.9 GPA (I was also drinking way too much but that's a whole other story). And everyone knows that I'm a licensed Cosmetologist, a licensed Cosmo. Teacher and a Barber.

So yea, when you ask me for advice but then tell me I live in a fantasy land......it really fucking hurts.

Do you think it's about time that you stop comparing me to your dumb ex-whore??

Now, do you know why I'm single?? Do you think I like it?? Do you think I want to be??

NO....I know my worth, I know what I deserve and I definitely know what I want. It doesn't take me long to figure people out and know if I'm going to be happy with them. And you know what, I don't waste my time faking a relationship with someone who doesn't make me happy. I let them go so that we can both find true happiness. I would so much rather be miserable alone than be in an unhappy relationship making someone else miserable too.

So, how many times, wait, better yet, how many years will I have to remind you that I don't like black guys?? You have tried to set me up with two and they were really stupid!!! And how about that friend JH?? He's not very bright either. So really, wake up and take a good look at me. I'm better than that.

What about your best friend....he's really smart, right?? Yea, he's in a bad place and he's really fucking up, isn't he?? Why?? Because he's not happy with his wife. So why couldn't you help him by letting him be with an awesome woman who was willing to take him as he is AND help him live the life he wants?? Oh, that's right, you don't believe. You think life is a struggle and that option would just be too easy, huh??

Do you really want me to go back three years and tell the story of how you got here, you showed up on this mountain and never left, right??

And how about business. I was doing pretty good, right?? And what did I do?? I took your product home, I sat my ass in my bed and I let the money come to me. And I was doing pretty good for awhile, wasn't I?? yea, I didn't bug people, I didn't waste my gas chasing people, I sat here and did what I wanted while the money came to me. What happened?? Oh, your friend decided he was moving to Colorado and not with me. Yea, you guys were too worried about chasing money and I got left behind. I can make money come here but you send your best friend to Colorado for it, with a wife he's not happy with and he's ready to kill himself. But let's send him really far away from everyone he knows. That's a wonderful idea. Well, I lost almost all my clients, immediately after the Fourth of July, because the product was unavailable when it was wanted. And I ended up in the hole. And what happened, you jacked up my prices. Like I'm going to stick around when I'm already in debt and you can't keep up with my clients demands. And oh yea, you let your best friend fuck with my head and break my heart.

I'm 35, I've been a pothead since I was 17 and I made it this far without your help. I don't need you, I just wanted to help.

Yea, I'm a spoiled brat. But at 35, my life has been pretty awesome. I've accomplished so much and almost everything I want, gets handed to me. And best of all, if I want money, I know exactly how and where to get it. Why is that. Because I have Heaven right here in the palm of my hands. And I'm done trying to help you find yours. And just to be clear, I was helping you to help my best friend because she loves you. Remember when you told me that I was crazy to be willing to take on Boston. Do you remember what I told you?? I love you, I love M and you both love him and want to help him. And....I want to help myself, so yea, that's what friends do. They help each other.

You don't want to believe in this stuff, astrology, because you're Christian and you believe in God. That's great. I was raised in a church, did you know that?? Guess what I learned there?? GOD is LOVE yea, he's not real, he's not a person and we will never meet him. He is Love. Love is all we need. And me, I AM LOVE and I choose love over money......all day, every day, for all of eternity. So what do you believe in again??

"Same Love" Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

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