Hematoma Hospital Stay

1:17 pm

My surgeon is mystified about this hematoma that I have. Everyone is. It's not where anyone would expect it to be from this surgery. Where did it come from?? We don't care and are glad that it's not a bleeder, it's going away. I'm going to be ok but my boss isn't going to be happy. My surgeon says I hurt myself too much and I have to take two more weeks off!!! Ugh

I'm poor enough and Christmas is coming :(

Hopefully I get haircuts, I can definitely do that and I've been handing business cards out for awhile. They will start calling soon. Probably as soon as I get set up in the basement. Yea, I'm going to use the kitchen down there for now. More space, away from My kitchen and My food. I'm well enough to go up and down the stairs and stand for awhile. Just not all day, not yet anyway.

Yea, I'm still emotional :( But my entire body has been fighting an infection for years. And that infection was literally frying my eggs and lady parts. And yes, look it up, salpingitis kills 29% of women who get it because they don't have symptoms....just like I didn't. Now, my body is trying to adjust....a huge tumor is gone, a severely infected Fallopian tube is gone and mentally....wow, I really did almost die. It's an awful lot for one to accept and deal with. Especially when you find out that you don't have as many friends as you thought you did.

Why am I so upset with M?? She convinced me to open my heart AND My home to Boston. After three years, I was all about it but what did she do?? Did she talk to him about me and get him to see me?? No, she let the boys decide to do what they wanted and they all left me behind. Left me alone, depressed and crying. They all knew I was sick and they all knew they hurt me. And then one of them asked if I wanted to go to the bar Friday!!! Two and a half months later and three days after major surgery and I hate the bar. Seriously not cool.

I've learned my lesson and it's going to be a very long time before I ever let a guy touch me in anyway again. I was sick and I forgot how much I want to be loved for my mind. Obviously I don't need anybody and now, I'm done wanting somebody. Too many people only care about themselves and I'm not getting close with anyone new. I do have a few close friends and that's all I need.

Yea, I forgive M but I'm not ready to be her friend again. My heart really was ripped apart; every day, for two months while Boston ran around trying to figure out what the fuck he's doing.

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