Getting better

11:12pm

I am finding new friends. Ones who believe in what I do. Ones who want to help me heal. They believe in dreams. They believe in magic. They have been helping me heal today. All morning, I bawled my eyes out. Disbelief that the people I have loved and cared for and tried to help, have broken me down and made me want to die. And they call me nuts and say I've made shit up. Lucky for them, my phone erased everything, I had proof that every one of them talked me into letting Boston live with me. Even proof that he talked to me about it, saying he couldn't leave his wife because she had too much dirt on him. Not that he loved her and wanted to be with her, oh no, he was afraid to leave her. And I so would have thrown it in their faces and shown them what crazy really is. So fucked up that the ones I have loved have turned their backs on me and are using my sickness to make themselves look better. Anyway, after visiting my grandfather and taking a nap, I could finally feel my heart beating again. It was the best feeling and I actually smiled for real for the first time in a very long time. And now my friends are helping me learn how to do spells better than I have ever learned before. Well, one to start. For me. To cleanse me and get rid of the asshole Boston. Thank goodness, my nightmares of him are almost over. Unfortunately I have to wait until the full moon but it gives me something to look forward to. I knew people were reading this. Thank you for the postive thoughts and please keep them coming, it's working :))

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