"Confident"

December 6, 2015

A friend rode with me this morning. Thank goodness. I talked to my boss last night, she told me the papers were heavy, I should definitely take some one. She also sent me some free bags for the plus size papers. She's so nice. I guess because some one has been complaining all week that they haven't gotten their paper. But my boss said no one has complained about me since my first day so she knew it wasn't my fault. I reassured her: I turn around in that guy's driveway, there's no way I'm missing it, some one is stealing it. We have ways of dealing with that though, thankfully. Anyway, it was a slow boring morning. It was like the never ending paper delivery. My friend was falling asleep as she was folding papers. Haha. We heard "Confident" about five times. It's definitely me and is stuck in my head. I did use SoundHound to search two new songs. The lyrics are amazing so maybe the music will grow on me or I will start to hate them. "New Americana" by Halsey and "Roses" by The Chainsmokers. 

 

It was so boring because it was freezing and the fog was horribly thick every where. It hasn't been that bad since the Fourth of July. Though that night was fun. I was on shrooms and feeling awesome. This morning however, it just made me decide that yea, I do want to write what I'm thinking. I feel like my life has been a fog. I can't see shit. I've been delivering papers for almost six months and today, it has been exactly six months since I let Boston play with my fingers causing me to dream about him and see him everywhere. And you know what, it's been about six and a half months since I've been on a date or been intimate with anyone. And you know what else?? I'm real sick of dreaming about someone else's husband. I don't get it, I didn't touch him, I shouldn't still feel him. But I'm feeling cofident, I've been asking the Moon for what I want for almost six months now. I've been to Hell, I beat my Devil, I've made a lot of people believe, I give nothing but love and truth and I have faced death.....I have earned the right to have my real, true love. And the last dream I remember (yesterday), I went to visit my neighbor and Boston was hiding in the closet. Ha....sounds real good to me. It's about time Boston stops blocking me from getting what I deserve and need. 

 

 

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