Coward

10:59 am

Blaine's Facebook post about communicating and caring for your friends is keeping me awake. I'm so tired that I'm shaky and sweaty but I just can't go. The post brought back my last convo with Boston and it keeps playing on repeat, over and over and over. So I'm going to write it down for you. Too bad my phone erased the copies, I could just show you but it's cool, I have a good memory for stupid shit like this

He emailed me

Yes, he started it....sitting right across the driveway from me

Said he wanted to talk and clear the air

I waited a few hours

I wanted to ignore him

But the caring part of me had to answer

I wish I didn't care

I replied that I was psychic, I already knew, I didn't want to talk

He replied that he couldn't leave because he would never see his kid

WTF I said I didn't want to talk and this is what he says!?!?

I calmly replied that that is what child custody courts are for

He replied that she had too much dirt on him, he couldn't leave

Seriously???? Now this

I said I didn't want to hear it

So now I'm getting pissed

So I replied "I'm sorry but I think you're a coward"

He replied "please don't say that"

Well the tears were pouring now and I don't remember what I said. It was a bit crazy and emotional. Can you blame me??? He claims to want to talk but he didn't want to hear me out, that's not talking. And did he ask what I meant?? Did he ask if I was ok?? Did he care enough to help me when it was obvious that I was losing it??

Oh no.....he ignored my email and he ran to Texas, because he is a coward, just like I said. Almost four months ago, he ran away and has been hiding from me since, pretending he's happy because the truth hurts and he's a coward

Blaine was right, Boston is not good for me but not because he has a temper, hello, have you seen all the holes in my walls?? They're from PW, I stayed with him for almost eleven months and didn't care because he never once raised his fist at anyone or anything other than the wall. If he had, he would have been out the door that very minute. No, it's because I have more balls than Boston and that's not good for me, I need some one who is not afraid to get out there, be honest, take chances and live happily without drugs

P.S. I forgot to mention that my computer battery died about two weeks ago. So I type these blogs in my Evernote notebook on my iPad and then copy and paste it into my blog on my iPad. For some reason, trying to type in this blog on my iPad is like going back to dial-up, maybe even worse. So I typed this up and while I waited for my iPad to load this blog (it takes about five minutes just to open, what a drag) I hopped on Facebook to check my notifications, I really hate that red flag on my phone, and this is what Facebook was showing me.........

HMMM.......anyone ready to admit that I'm 98% accurate on all my predictions because I really am psychic?? I know I am and I know that Boston is about to be kicked to the curb cause he never really did quit his bad habit nor has he stopped lying to her.....let's see how accurate I've been. I feel it all, yes, even her thoughts, it's no wonder I have such a hard time being me, I feel too many other people's feelings and it's killing me

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