S.O.B.

My doctor is awesome, I wish I could see her as a friend or more than once a year. She's a midwife and has the same beliefs as I. She said that I'm in enough pain and the Mirena might still work, it won't hurt to stay put and will for another year. My friend asked me if it was a good thing. I was trying not to think about it. I don't know how I feel about it, I was ready to get it over with. It is what it is and I trust this woman dearly.

I do agree with her that boys will be boys and men are always men. Her husband is nine years younger and they met when he was 22. She says he was always a man and still is. I know this.....my brother, who just turned 35, has always been a man (except maybe when he was drunk in his younger years) and then we have my uncle, the boy we wish a Happy 66th today. He still lives off daddy.....go him!!! But hey, he's finally trying, give him a hand and wish him luck

Today's playlist is made of the songs I've saved this past week. Some were ones I haven't heard in awhile, others made me feel. Mostly sad. S.O.B. is just great. It was released the day after I found out that I had a tumor and almost died, 8/21/15; I was a heavy drinker for seveteen years (almost six years 'sober' now), my heart has been breaking for years, I've always felt like bugs are crawling on me and I was sweating my ass off at nights. The song is sad but upbeat and almost makes me want to drink. Unfortunately I've done a lot of crying during my paper route this week. This time it's me. I've had a hard time accepting the things I've been through and I've become quite dispirited at having been through it alone. I'm almost 36 and I feel like I'm going to be alone forever but I'm hanging on, barely, but I am

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